The NO YELLING Campaign

I am ever convinced that God has a mighty and powerful sense of humor. For years in my family, we've battled anger...from my own eight-year-old eyes on family violence to my own loud, impatient voice as a mother allowing frustrations to take hold of better judgment. If there's one stronghold in my house that we are losing, it's anger.

Counseling. Prayer. Promises. And still anger persisted, winning over our "quality time" all too often. My eight-year-old even launched a "No Yelling" Campaign complete with signs in every room of the house. The signs did not help that much though...instead it was like a constant irritating reminder of failure. Then there was the "Mama Should Be Nice Petition" signed by both children. And then we got a rescue dog from the SPCA. Eight pounds of weenie dog that pees wherever he is whenever you utter the first audible hint of a yell. I believe the technical term is "submissive urination." So I believe that God is being funny and real and personal. He is digging into our daily existence and letting us know that if we yell, we will have a lot to clean up afterward. He is reminding us that "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for a man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." (James 1:19-20)

RELATED LINKS:
http://www.angerbusters.com/index.php
http://iblp.org/iblp/seminars/anger/need/
http://www.familylife.com/
http://www.spca.org/

Do It Heartily - The First Science Fair Project

Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men...."

Well, we have finally arrived at the age of the science fair project with our older son. And I am wondering how we instill a love for excellence in our children. Healthy pride without arrogance. Commitment without obsession. How do we help them get the balance right? And how do we best model that balance as well?

Thank God his teacher provided incremental deadlines throughout the project to help us avoid procrastination. Yet, today with the project due tomorrow, still most of our weekend has been devoted to the project.

Amidst my own memories of vinyl lettering and construction paper assemblies in wee hours of the morning and given the fact that he needs to grow and learn on his own, I have still grappled with these main questions in the experience:

• How much should I help?
• To what degree should I offer correction and suggestions?
• How much should I let him use the computer in the process?

I opted to be a sounding board for his ideas and offer supervised Internet access to help get the ideas flowing for a project that he would love and enjoy. Then, throughout the process, I served as a checkpoint and editor for each phase that he incrementally turned in. His dad served as the earthquake simulator and helped with the construction and actual implementation of the experiment itself. Then, I served as a computer assistant to type up his hand-written materials. The most difficult part for my husband and I as designers was letting go of the layout of the board and to allow him to mount things as he saw fit to the actual display board.

Throughout, I really had to keep watch of myself to only play a helpful role and not a take-it-over role (though it clearly would have been more efficient to do so, I was able to resist the temptation!). In the end, we survived it and the only thing I am left wondering is why certain aspects where my husband and I offered clear suggestions of best methods were completely ignored in lieu of efficiency. I think it came to a point where my 8 year old just wanted to get it done and unfortunately was willing to compromise quality in order to do so.

He did end up working hard and he did finish it which is good. I am only left to ponder how I can offer my suggestions in a way that they will be compelling enough to utilize and raise the bar of quality...yet not overpower his own creativity and choices.

RELATED LINKS:
http://www.ipl.org/youth/projectguide/gettingstarted.html
http://www.juliantrubin.com/branchesofsciencefair.html
http://www.christian-parenting-source.com/sciencefairprojectsideas.html
http://www.super-science-fair-projects.com/
http://www.thinkquest.org/library/cat_show.html?cat_id=13
http://science.howstuffworks.com/

Anyone for Another Drink of Bisphenol A?

I had an overflowing cabinet of plastics in the kitchen. A plastic for ANYTHING...cups, lids, sippy cups, round plastic, square plastic, rectangular plastic, water bottles on the go, etc. You name it we had it in plastic. Then, on a quick errand I noticed a big "BPA-FREE" tag on a water bottle at a sporting goods store. Huh? I'd heard the term before but really had no idea what it meant and certainly no idea why I should want to pay more for it (or rather for something withOUT it).

So I started doing my research online. Apparently Bisphenol A is a potentially harmful hormone-altering chemical found in some plastics (particularly a sub-set of the plastics with recycling label #7, and in particular the hard, clear plastics). Hmmm, those are the ones my now eight year old has been using ever since he could successfully drink from a cup. AND, better still as I read on, I found numerous recommendations to chunk all plastics over 6 months old and any plastics with cracks. OKAY. ALL of my plastics were over 6 months old...most over 6 years. And, many of them had cracks. I never liked the orange look of plastics that had previously stored curries or tomato sauces, but I had no idea it could be harmful to my family.

Seemed to be an affirmation of that voice in back of mind saying, "Hmm. This does not look so good for storing, keeping and re-heating my food. And maybe that sippy cup lid is yielding more plastic flavor than actual drink at this point after being chewed on so long?"

So, even on a tight budget, I took the plunge and equipped each family member with one Klean Kanteen for outings and totally cleared out the cabinet full of plastics and replaced it with about 8 different shapes and sizes of Pyrex dishes with lids from Target. I chose the Klean Kanteens because they don't have the epoxy resins that Sigg uses and are slightly more affordable and one month into it still prove to be leak-free. I've also started saving and reusing the glass bottles that jellies, sauces and kimchi come in for additional storage without additional cost. PLUS, that huge family of plastics hasn't exactly been kicked to the curb...just relocated to the gameroom and closets for storage of markers, buttons, legos and other goodies that are quite happy to have new see-through homes.

My thoughts are this...if there's a reasonable cause to suspect that something may be harming my children and if convenience is really the only thing preventing me from changing...then that is the kind of change that I can and should support. Not panic, not paranoia, just trying to provide the best I can for my kids.

RELATED LINKS:
http://greenliving.suite101.com/article.cfm/kitchen_plastics
http://lifewithoutplastic.com/
http://www.grinningplanet.com/2004/11-09/chemicals-plastic-storage-containers-article.htm
http://healthychild.org/uploads/File/PocketGuidePlastics.pdf